my world today...

We were blessed with FREE new windows and a sliding glass door for our home. Our old windows had mold growing on them and they were basically destroying our house. BOO... now i feel like our home is so much safer health wise!


Our babysitter/aid for our boys, who was up in Alaska for a few months, is back home in Washington and it so lovely to see her! Not only is she fabulous with my boys, i also enjoy her company! Many years ago when i was a youth leader at our old church she was one of the girls in my group. So it's been so much fun watching her become a woman! Oh i am just happy she is back! And she brought me flowers.    :)

 

 

This morning i was helping Elijah out of his shirt to put a new one on and as i lifted his shirt i noticed non other then the tell tale sign on CHICKEN POX! That's right... chicken pox has taken up residence in one of our kiddos. He is the youngest and non-vaccinated so i am not surprised... just not sure where he got it from. I am anticipating Daniel will catch it as he is not vaccinated either, not sure about Joshua. Joshua actually did receive the vaccine when he was 1, so according to the CDC he should be immune to it. We shall see! I am very skeptical when it comes to vaccines.

 

We are also dealing with cancer again. Matt's grandma just got diagnosed with colon cancer and the doctors are pretty sure that it has metastasised, they are just not sure where to.

 

And that is what is going on here today.. and it's sounds strange, but today I'm just so HAPPY.

 

weird huh?

 

 It must be the Holy Sprit or something great like that working on my heart to keep it at peace right now.

To Daniel

 

 

6 years ago you entered the world, your dad thought you looked like a gnome, a hairy gnome... I thought you where the most beautiful child i ever set eyes on. Yep... even more handsome then your big brother. The doctors commented on how you where so big at 8 pounds 3 oz. We thought you were tiny! Of all of your brothers you where the smallest.. though i think you will end up to be the tallest.  You have taught me the most about myself. You have enriched my life for the better. You challenge me, you make me cry, you make me laugh. Your dad and i have spent a lot of time figuring out how to "fix you". And now we know after 5 years of wondering, what specific struggles you face, and it makes us love you more, and it makes us see that we are the ones that need to grow and learn. We love you son. We love everything about you and we are BLESSED to be entrusted as your parents. I only pray that we can be your voice and your advocate until you have the strength to step out on your own... and i know you will.. you are such a strong boy.. you have so much brilliance.. so much light. You my son, where born for great things, and we know you will touch many hearts through your journey of life.

 

 

sometimes taking on too much...

I was driving through town yesterday and i saw a little boy trying to ride a bike. What caught my attention was that the little boy was so very little and the bike was so very big. The child obviously thought that he could handle such a big bike, and maybe he even was proud of himself for propelling such an object that was so much larger then himself... but to me, it was so very obvious at how much he was struggling.
 And then i thought about life (as i do often). I thought about how we look at things and how we want things... but sometimes those things are too big for us. And when we try to take on those big things, we struggle and try not to fall. We try to make it seem to others that we can handle whatever the big thing is in our life. But in reality we may need to grow first before the "bigger bike" fits us. We need to ride the smaller bike and gain skills and let time pass before we take on the bigger bikes. We are surrounded by a society that thinks that the bigger bikes are more desirable.. but in the end, we end up just looking silly trying to ride these over sized bikes, and it gets so EXHAUSTING!
Do you have any "bigger bikes" that you are trying to take on when it's just not the right fit? 

update

I know you all may be wondering about how things have been going with my nephew and my sister. Without going into to much detail i will tell you that she has decided that she is going to be the fulltime parent and she will choose what situations to put her child in... and it's a little heartbreaking but it's time for me to let go and trust and pray that God will watch out for my little nephew... So from time to time i may see him... but we are no longer his primary caregivers... and that's that.
As far as the second baby situation, she has decided to give the baby life, she is going to try and raise him/her and if it doesn't work out she is open to adoption. SO YAY for no abortion.
There is much more to this situation and this has been a big burden for our family for a while... and now we are in the process of letting it go... because that's the season and that's what's going on.
And though my heart breaks for my nephew, my heart trusts in the Lord.
 

I still can't believe he is gone... i can't believe that it was just a year ago i was in minnesota spending one last day with him.

Miss you Marty...