My Little Warriors: August 2012

I don't like to go into to much depth in public about personal issues. There are a few reasons why but this certain subject is one that i am passionate about...DEEPLY ...deeply passionate about.

Abortion

The past few years i have had the opportunity to really live out what i believe. And even though it would be much easier to take a backseat and just be another voice with an opinion and no action... i choose to take action.

Okay sorry that is kinda vague but I'll get to the point.

I have helped my younger sister though having a baby (from being there for the actual labor, to teaching her how to change diapers and eat well and what do with a baby). We have helped her get on her feet, get an apartment and a job and even a car, and now we are basically raising her son full time. It hasn't been easy.. and there have been times where i just want to quit, tell her to find someone else to take care of her son, find someone else to care and go back to my life before this. We've had to learn how to set strong boundaries and to stick to those. (Some of you know the full weight of the situation and the different circumstances around it) Sometimes we are good and sometimes we crack. Just when i was feeling confident that things where on a good path... just when i felt confident of a direction that things were going well, a curve ball was thrown at me. I guess i wasn't surprised.. but i was.

She walked in to drop off her son. She casually mentions how she decided that she is going to quit smoking. I knew right then and there that she was pregnant. " You're pregnant aren't you?" i say to her. " She does her typical response "welll" whenever i am right about something. And i'm not surprised ... but i am. She is pretty sure it's the current boyfriend's ( that she had only been with for 2 weeks) but it may be the guy she was living with from last month. And i sigh again. stunned... wondering if i have made it too easy on her... wondering if there was something different i could have done to prevent this. Nope.. i'm pretty sue it probably would have still happened.,, she thinks she makes cute babies. Because that is a reason to bring a child into the world.

Boyfriend decided that he didn't want all the responsibility of taking on an already single mom and then another baby and he packed up his bags and left. I wasn't surprised when i got that call... they had been together for almost 1 month. Yes 1 month.

She told me that she is thinking that she is going to get an abortion. Boyfriend told her to get an abortion, Everyone is telling her to.. and she doesn't have the money to do it on her own and she doesn't think she can do it on her own. She would rather kill a baby then give it up.... because killing it would be easier then giving the child life and blessing another family.
And my heart just died. Last week she wanted this baby... and now she says it doesn't work for her so she is going to get an abortion... but maybe someday when it works for her again she will have another baby. And my mind is exploding with .. i can't even tell you what it is because it's just all sorts of craziness.

I explained to her that if she did go ahead with the abortion i really felt that she would regret it and that I knew it would deeply wound her for life. There are emotional and spiritual ties with aborting a baby that stick for life... that is not something you can just get rid of at an office visit. I told her there are plenty of people who would take her child and give him/her a great home... with lots of love.

And then God spoke to my heart... like he has been doing these past few months.... here is your opportunity. And i knew what he was talking about. If i am all about saving these innocent babies from being murdered for convince sake... if i am so called "pro-life", if i am all about love in action then i need to BE that. I need to be willing to take that child for the sake of saving it. Protecting the orphans.

I'm speaking for me... i'm speaking for my heart and what God has been doing to mold me more into the person i am. I like the person i am... i like my soft loving heart, and i am learning to use it in the ways that God intended it to be used. I am learning my boundaries and what i can and cannot do... so dear reader... please read this as a growth in my own life and not a attack on your own if you do not believe the same things that i do

So i told her we would take the baby if it was a matter between her aborting it and giving it up. I could not be okay with myself if i didn't do everything in my power to save a life.

As it stands she is still keeping the baby... but I don't know what people are telling her and what she is believing.. there is a big possibility that she is going to abort the baby... but at least i have tried everything in my power to be there,,, to give that child a chance at life.

You know.. i thought that the years when we were dealing with the beginning of the special needs and the very little years where the hardest.. i'm changing my mind. This past year has been a doosey. And I'm surprised at how well i have held it together really... well actually more thankful that God has held me together and kept me out of a mental facility! HA

I'm not going to go through the list of all the "terrible" things that have happened to me and how bad you should feel for me. I guess my point, though it's all over the place in the post... is that I'm living it out. I'm living this life that has been given to me out. I'm living my beliefs out. In loving others... in forgiveness, in grace, in times when i just don't want to, in times i want to give up, in times i am happy, in times that i love and want to last forever... I'm living it... and I'm grasping every opportunity that is given to me to do so. Some days i fail TERRIBLY.. and other days i feel like i come out ahead of the race. But overall i can feel my soul being shaped, and though i push against that change, i'm feeling it for the better.

I was talking to a friend about this topic and she was telling me that there needs to be less people standing out side of abortion clinics telling these woman they are murderers... There needs to be more standing outside of them asking them over for coffee and a chat and asking "how can we step up to help you choose life?" That was a nice thought... and i totally agree.. so friend if you are reading this I challenge you to do that sometime :) live it out!

And to my readers... if you have to opportunity to live out a belief, DO IT! If there is a situation that you are passionate about right in front of you, take action. Otherwise why do you hold the belief if you aren't willing to back it up when all is said and done?

a little less talk and a lot more action.... (as a country song that is taking it way out of context says... ) !

Sometimes we do crazy things... like backpack 4 miles up a mountain to a random lake... sometimes it's great.. other times it's difficult and i think " we have small children, two are special needs, what are we thinking?" But in the end... it always works out to be a great time because of our attitude.. that really is the key.. especially when things go wrong.. like when the ONLY pair of shoes one brings breaks... and one has to improvise for a 4 mile hike out of the camp site...

I know you are thinking "why did you wear flip flops hiking".... my hiking shoes where causing me problems from last trip and i meant to go get new ones but i didn't have time and then when we were leaving to go these where the only things that would work.. I've hiked in them before and they are super comfy but think they just saw to many hiking trips and walking trips so now they are dead! So that is why i wore flip flops!