moments

Top secret project...




This boy eats... and eats... and eats... he is now up to my shoulders in height




worn out




I love all my boys!

my therapy

Seriously... These animals have been my saving grace. I never imagined that i would connect with a llama of all animals. But there is something gentle and unspoken in their manner. There is an understanding in their eyes.
I know some of you must think i am off my rocker... and if it was about 3 or more years ago i would have to agree with you. But now i can't imagine life without them.

On really hard days i can just step outside and i will be greeted by three fuzzy faces humming curiously at me. Their presence is gentle, their eyes deep, knowing.

one day i hope to share them with the world. Share them with the special people who have trouble connecting to the world around them. Share them to bring others joy like they have brought me. For now it is just a dream, but someday, i want a place where people can come and feel a connection and experience acceptance.

Socialization and other random topics

I just finished the book " the well adjusted child; the social benefits of homeschooling"
It was a great book on wholly just the social aspect of homeschooling. It really is written for someone who doesn't know much about the homeschooling community or what homeschoolers actually do all day and how they interact, so this is a good book for the doubters or those who are curious. But it is also a good book for parents who have someone in their lives who possibly is throwing the " what about socialization?" question at them. I can't tell you how many times I have had friends, family and complete strangers scoff at my choice of homeschooling and imply that my children are going to be social inept because I am homeschooling.
It always totally irks me when people talk about homeschooled children not being socialized. I could go on and on about socialization and even dare to step out and say that public schooled children are improperly socialized, but I don't have the energy tonight...maybe another time.
Anyway .... This book is a must have for any homeschooling parents library. I wish I had a ton of money so I could buy all my friends copies!

I hate swimming in pools... I think it's all of the chemicals .. But I sure love water. I think water has magical healing properties.

We are planning a trip back out to Minnesota and I am so excited! This time I am going to take Matt and the boys up to lake superior ... I am so excited for them to see my childhood special places!

We got the llamas all haltered and walking around.... That was a pretty exciting accomplishment for me today. Gwen still has lots of work to go, but she is doing okay. Shiloh (the baby) is not to sure about being on a lead but I am confident she will get use to it.

Hope you, my dear friends are having a good day, night, morning.

Are you wondering...

How this little guy is doing?

Though helping out my little sister has not been easy, and has challenged me to limits i never thought i could handle... this little guy stays in my heart to keep pressing on for him.

He is growing, He is smiling, He is healthy. I am so proud of my sister for really embracing motherhood and trying to do the best she can for him! She is still successfully breastfeeding and choosing to do the best for him.

My prayer is that no matter where he ends up, he grows up to be a person who loves people and who has compassion for others. And my prayer will continue to be that his mommy will accept the love and grace of Christ in her life so she can experience freedom!

what works for me

So in relation to the last post on not being everything to everybody.. I'm going to share with you some of the things that have helped me in my burnout times.
I think i've shared on here about my struggle with endometriosis, and fibro.

These are the things that i have discovered over the years that have helped lesson the symptoms of these often debilitating chronic illness...

limited to no sugar
no wheat gluten
drinking lots of water
using natural cleaners, including dish soaps, hand soaps , shampoos, ect.
aromatherapy baths with detox... 2 cups Epsom salt, 1/2 cup baking soda and a few drops of your favorite essential oil (my personal favorite is lavender as it has many healing, calming properties)
Sleep, naps when needed
exercise. Just a 15 minute walk can help
reusable pads for ministration

as for natural medication something that has helped me in SO many ways and really has been a lifesaver is something called Withania Complex.
It has been simply amazing.. i can not tell you how the herb mix has changed my life... I'm not trying to give you a sales pitch or anything.. just wanted to share how much it has helped me!

If you are interested you can check out this link on what is in it and what it is used for. If the link doesn't work... let me know.
As with any medication.. even if it is herbal.. please consult a physician who knows about natural medications and your body.

so anyway.. those are a few of the keys things that have really improved life for me... As well as learning to say no!

I just want to add a note in here to tell you that none of my readers has ever made me feel overwhelmed or like i was doing to much ( giveaways, guest posts, ect...) most of my burnout comes from certain family members and situations surrounding them. And if i ever am feeling like i just need to not do anything, i always let the person know that i am needing a break. So please never feel like you are a burden to me, because this little community is a blessing in so many ways!

on not being eveything to everybody

I have a problem.
I want everybody to be happy.
I want everybody to have everything they want, and i want everybody to be comfortable.
I want to help them feel whole.
I want them to reach their highest potential.
I want everybody to always feel like I am doing my best for them.
These feelings are not necessarily bad things IF THEY ARE BALANCED with care for self... but I take my desires for others to extremes and then I feel bad when i let someone down. and i blame myself for their failures.... as if there is always something that i could have done better to have prevented pain or heartache.
When Joshua was just a wee baby, matt and I attended a prophetic conference. (which that story within itself is a whole other post someday) We were prophesied over and the man (whom did not know us, our situation or my heart) spoke many truths over my life and confirmations of feelings i had. One of the things that God spoke through him was that I had a heart like a mother goose, wanting to take everyone and everything under my wing. He spoke of how that was a great trait, but i would burn out fast and that i needed to learn to say NO, and take care of myself and rest in the Lord. I took that to heart and with the years i have been growing in that.. but now more then ever I've had to work on boundaries. I have A LOT on my plate.. especially now with helping out my sister. Honestly she is a full time job within herself, not to mention she is trying to raise a baby and still being a baby herself... so more then ever I've been aware of what i can and cannot do... and I'm learning to be okay with that...
but it's hard... And i have trouble finding that balance sometimes on what is the best road to choose.. because each day i have many choices on what to do with the day and how it will be spent.
I'm still learning and growing, but it's still hard to say no. I know that i need to only move in the perimeter of my boundaries.. and i know that some of whom i serve do not understand the need for those boundaries (namely my little sister), but i need to let it go and take care of myself.
many thanks are due to a long distance friend who has really spoken into my life with her insightful and wise words on self care and being aware of ones own needs. as well as a close by friend who has shared the same wisdom.
I can go to the point of beyond burnout.. where my body is physically worn out.. from lack of adrenaline, and then my heart starts acting up and I'm just in pain and unable to even fold laundry or sit up because my heart is so worn out. I can't do that to my family, i CAN'T do that to myself. And who does it help to never take care of myself and only ever worry about others. I don't mean to sound like i am being selfish.. but I am done trying to be everything to everybody.. and when i keep my focus to a few, and within my boundaries, i find my love and abilities stretch far beyond what i could do if i was just always... TRYING.
It's going to be a constant struggle.. but THIS is my proclamation.. I AM DONE TRYING TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY... I AM DONE BURNING MYSELF OUT.. and I AM DONE PUTTING THE RESPONSIBILITY OF OTHERS ACTIONS ON MYSELF... if i have moved within my boundaries and spoken my heart and view point that is ENOUGH. I cannot burn myself out and be walked on.. i REFUSE! I WILL TAKE CARE OF MYSELF so in turn i can BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS!!!

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

- Krishnamurti

I dance myself to sleep...

The best children's nightime song... by far....

Why I write...

Most of the writers of the blogs that i have read, at one time or another, explain why they write.

So now i am here to answer that question...

My following is meager, to say the least.

I don't write to gain readers.

I don't write to receive praise or recognition.

I don't care how many people comment, really i don't.

I am NOT a gifted writer.. (obviously you know this if you follow me!)

I WRITE to share my simple life, to share my joys and sorrows. And hopefully in the simply sharing of life and thoughts, i will be able to encourage someone.

Or help someone not to feel alone.

Or maybe to be some comic relief...

or not! HA!

I am a simple person, but i am complicated... with a web weaved around me of deep loves, deep hurts, deep convictions, and deep thoughts.

But most of the time, i just like to simply share, give, and hope to encourage!

moods in music

Love this song lately...


"Paradise" by coldplay


When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep
Dreamed of para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Every time she closed her eyes
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth

Life goes on
It gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear, a waterfall
In the night, the stormy night
She closed her eyes
In the night, the stormy night
Away she'd fly.

And dreamed of para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh

She dreamed of para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

La la la La
La la la

So lying underneath those stormy skies.
She said oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
I know the sun must set to rise.

This could be para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
This could be para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

This could be para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Could be para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

This could be para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Could be para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

and the Winner is....

Sadie....

and

Kmarie.....

and

Marissa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That's right... all three of you! :) I have something special in mind for each of you BUT i need to know three things...

Favorite color or colors if you can't just pick one (that's hard for me to do)...
Favorite Smell
Favorite Drink (like coffee or tea)

:)

and then i need addresses... sorry K and Marissa i know i have your address floating around somewhere but if you could send them to me again that would be awesome, and Sadie i need yours.

A Giveaway in honor of...

Our first date was valentines day.
He borrowed a truck to drive us down to Calgary.
It was a Friday night.
everything was closed and nothing went as planned.
We sang the "fresh prince of bel air" theme song on the c-train with drunk strangers.
I had coffee, he had juice at Tim Horton's.
A man came up to us at the train station.
his name was Scotty.
It was a COLD night and he was not dressed properly... he was homeless, staying in the shelter. We talked a while, shared a little life and then shared some money for warm food, not sure if he used it for food, but i like to believe that he did treat his friend to subway.
I noticed his hands where cold.
Mine where so warm.
My mittens where thick and perfect for cold nights.. they did have hearts on them, but i thought i would offer.
He accepted graciously...
We drove back to the small prairie town with conversation full of hope for the future and hearts glowing with new love.
In honor of that first date and the beginning of a life of giving together i am doing a giveaway!
So here is the down low...
It will be a special made package from me... specific to who wins. :)
So this is how you enter...

Comment on this blog post about either

1. Your first date with your spouse (good bad ugly... just want to hear about it)
or
2. A time where things didn't go as planned but still turned out memorable.

contest will close on Friday the 17 12am.. so you have until then to comment!
:)

9 years ago i went for a walk with a boy.

It was a cold Alberta night.

He gave me a rose and asked me to be his.

The stars shined brighter that night, and twinkled with known mystery of the years to come.

and now i love the man even more then i loved the boy.

It was a beautiful start to a love story that only God could design.

With each year he captures my heart and draws me in with his tender love.

he challenges me to be the woman he knows is inside me

he holds me up when i am broken

he inspires me towards greater things



This month holds many many dear memories for me as this has always been a month of new beginnings for me.
What about you?
I encourage you to go back to the days of late night walks, long conversations, and lingering hand holds... back to the magic of the beginning of your love story...

Guest blogging

Check out my guest post on homeschooling over on a friend's blog.

question...

Okay, Joshua is 7 and he has terrible B.O.
I make him scrub and scrub, but he will sweat and then stink...
i think it's time for deodorant...

Any suggestions on how to control the odor?

I didn't think we would have this problem until at least 10 or 11...

thursday morning thoughts

point form thoughts for your Thursday morning, or whenever you are reading this, enjoyment.

-after having a rough few days i think i am finally coming out of the funk i was in. I took some time off and made myself stay at home. This is not easy to do because having a little boy who is in a special needs preschool 4 days a week, as well as my little sister who has weekly appointments (it seems like), sometimes half of my days are driving around. As it ended up, little boy got sick, and little sister had no appointments for a few days, so i was able to recuperate. Also got lots of love and encouragement from the hubby, so that always gets me revitalized faster.

-I LOVE MY LLAMAS. seriously... love them. It's been so great to go out into the pasture and really get to know them and have them get to know me. We named the baby llama Shiloh, and the teenage llama (that is the other new llama) Gwen. Gwen was quite feisty at first, but now she has really warmed up and I think she will be a great addition to our family. She is gentle and curious and eager to please. Training is going very well. It's amazing how i can go and spend 5 minutes with them and my mood is lifted. They really are great therapy animals for me!



-Since we have new llamas we are going to be finding a home for our alpaca. We originally thought we would take her along on packing trips but she isn't able to handle distances or weight, so we were just keeping her for a pasture mate for kady, the llama. Molly (the alpaca) gets upset when we leave with kady. Llamas and alpacas tend to get lonely if they are on their own, so we found Molly a new home (she is leaving our place today!!!!) where she will always be around other animals and her fiber will get used. whew.. that was a long winded explanation that I'm sure you really don't care about, but i like sharing my simple loves.

- currently reading " The well-adjusted child: the social benefits of homeschooling" by Rachel Gathercole. fantastic read so far...

-currently on the stack to read next -
"educating the whole hearted child" - by sally and clay clarkson.
"apraxia uncovered- seven stages of phoneme development" - by pam marshalla

-my youngest has brought so much joy lately. He is a little light in our family. He walks around the house checking on everybody and wanting to be with them, humming little songs to himself while he plays through the day. The other day i grabbed some coffee in a travel cup and he insisted that he get his own cup and drink his coffee (which was just an empty cup) . Man was he cute... i had to snap of picture of him "drinking his coffee".

'

I hope that today you find a glimmer of peace and joy in the everyday simple. And I'll end with this quote by A. Einstein for you...

Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing it is stupid

Today was one of those days i didn't do well.

that is all i have right now.


sigh...

inspired by

This blog inspired me today and again reminded me of how very blessed I am to love the man God gave me. 9 years ago today we were not yet but almost dating. He put together a birthday party for me and made fried chicken. I was young and put icecream in a certian friends fish tank and to this day i still feel stupid for doing that... I'm glad i have good friends and also i am glad that Matt was able to look past my foolishness of youth and step up a few days later to join him in courtship. Yep, we courted... didn't really do the typical dating thing, though our families where many miles away from us, we went into our relationship with the focus of marriage. Anyway... that is a story for another day... just wanted to share this great blog post.

The way to my heart

Tomorrow is my birthday... I will be turning 28. For a few weeks now i've been trying to figure out what i would like for my birthday. A new dishwasher? nah... i'm fine hand washing the dishes these days... Books? mmm maybe. I just kept going all over the place trying to give my husband ideas, but nothing really felt right. I had settled myself to the idea that this was going to be another year of nothing special. I don't mind nothing special, and sometimes prefer it, but this year i felt like i wanted something bigger. I finally decided on maybe some time to myself alone in a clean house. But Matt had other plans that i had no idea of. It is not easy to surprise me. I can clue in fairly well to surprises. There has only been one time in our time together that Matt surprised me and that's when he flew to Minnesota to visit me over summer vacation while we were dating. Today was the second time i would say he successfully surprised me.
The story is this:
About 5 years ago Matt built a hovercraft and sold plans online. We had a random hovercraft sitting around his parents house and finally a year ago we took the engines off of it and took it apart. He saved the engines to sell someday and he recently found a buyer. He told me that he was going to drive down to Portland and drop off these engines and the guy who was buying them had a snow mobile that he was wanting to trade possibly for the engines. Matt told me that if the snow mobile didn't work like he wanted it to then he would take the cash. He asked me if i wanted a snow mobile for my birthday and i said yes, i thought that would be fun for the family. We had discussed getting snow mobiles in the future because we have boys and we live by the mountains so we thought it would be a good investment. So the past 3 days he's been talking about snow mobiles. Today he left to go pick up the snow mobile. He got home just as i was pulling out of the driveway to drop Daniel off at school. I stopped so that Joshua and Elijah could hop out and stay home with daddy... and i wanted to see if he did indeed get the snow mobile. I walked over to the van and i was in the middle of asking about a snowmobile when i see in the back of the van a LLAMA! NO JOKE... he said surprise and happy birthday, and then he said there is a second surprise... we are getting 2 llamas! we have been talking about getting more llamas for packing and we have been keeping our eyes open for young healthy llamas because they are hard to come by at a decent price. So in Matt's advertising to sell these engines he found a guy who had a few llamas and more specifically 2, 8 month old female llamas (exactly what we have been looking for) that he was willing to trade.
My older sister thinks i'm weird. And maybe i am, but my husband knows the way to my heart is through a farm animal....
and he picked such a beautiful sweet one...







I'm still trying to figure out a name for her... any suggestions?
We are going to go pick up the other llama on saturday, and I'm so excited! :)
I love how my husband knows me, and i love how he knows what will put a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I am so blessed by him and so thankful that he doesn't look down on my love for farm animals, but encourages it.