Sometimes i just want to stay home....
Sometimes i just don't want to explain why he is not talking...
You see what is frustrating is that we do not have a normal situation. Not only one kid has special needs, but two of my kids have special needs.
Sometimes I forget how things are. Sometimes i forget what normal life is. I mean life is normal for us... but i forget what "normal" kids are like. Usually when we spend a lot of time at home I tend to forget that our life isn't normal. So when we have friends over with "normal" kids, or when we go to places with "normal" kids... we see again how hard things are, and it honestly depresses us..
So I'm just having one of those depressed days. Yep.. I'm feeling sorry for myself that my life is different. I'm feeling sorry for myself that my kids are different. I'm feeling sorry for my kids that they will someday realize this... that they are different.. that they will see that. And it makes me not want to leave my house. It makes me want to stay home and protect my children from the world that i have to deal with for them. They may not have realized it yet, but life will not always be loving and friendly to them. And i know it's my job to do my best to teach them and LOVE them the way they are and teach them how to use their gifts... but sometimes i just want to stay home... i just want to protect them a little longer...
1 comment:
Thats not bad- to want that. Esp at this age. And you are doing amazing at getting the help they need and the support so that they are equipped later on when the world is not so kind. I feel the same way often. I understand from somewhat of a different viewpoint but still get what you feel. I have felt that too. What helps me is sneaking into their rooms and watching them sleep. Then suddenly the worlds problems seem less of an issue because RIGHT NOW they are breathing deep peace. One moment at a time....that is what helps me. And then I take time to watch a movie like Parenthood with Steve martin and see we all face it in varied ways. We all do. Some worse than others but we all will struggle and we all have moments. It's a rollar coaster. But you are doing good mamma:) And it is ok to be depressed and overwhelmed sometimes too. It does not mean lack of faith or lack of hope- it simply means you are living:) Then when the good times come they will be THAT much better to contrast the downers.
Your kids are lucky to have you.
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