Children are not a burden to escape or endure; they are a blessing that drives us to Christ because we are incapable of parenting well without Him. - Kim Brenneman

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

questions, and waiting for answers

Do you have to put a barrier up when your children eat so they can't see each other?



I know this seems a little extreme but for some reason whenever Daniel looks over at Elijah eating he gags and starts to throw up and cry. I think it may be because Elijah is SO messy when he eats...

Something that I've really had to remind myself of lately is that mothering is a high calling and the way that i raise my children can bring many people to Christ. John Wesley said: “I learned more about Christianity from my mother than from all the theologians in England.

I'm looking for a good book on mothering to read. Anyone have any suggestions?

The other day i was going though my closet and I pulled out a doll to help teach my little sister how to change diapers before her baby is born. Elijah saw the doll and picked her up and said " it's my baby!" And then he laid the baby down and said " You're poopy, it's time to change your diaper." It was just so interesting to watch because neither of the boys have been interested in babies before. I mean i guess i never really encouraged it because they are boys and we really don't have dolls around.. more like super heroes. After being excited about Elijah playing with a doll "typically" (as in a child normally developing) I had to ask myself if it was okay that he was playing with a doll. I mean after all.. he is a boy... is that okay for him to be playing with a baby doll? I decided that there was really no harm in it in, though i was concerned that Matt would be against it. To my surprise he was alright with it (this is the guy that won't let me spike the boys hair) and said that it would help him be a good dad someday. It's not like he is dressing the doll up and trying to feed it. He was more like wrestling with it and smacking it's head on the ground as he drags it around. What do you think about boys playing with baby dolls?


Daniel's test next week for an official diagnosis. I got a call today for a confirmation of appointment time and they told me to be there at 8:15 am and not expect to be out of it until ,at least 2:15pm. 6 hours of testing! OY!!!! I'm gonna need some strong coffee that morning because in order to get there we are going to have to leave at 6:15am!!!! And Daniel is not an earlier riser. He is my only child who would rather sleep in any day then get up early. I think he takes after me in that aspect. My other two boys pop out of bed like daisies! I know this sounds strange but I'm looking forward to the day. It will be good to get professionals opinion on Daniel's struggles. I'm ready for it. On anther note related to the diagnosis day, it is over half of what we thought it would cost, AND our insurance is paying 80 percent of the cost, so that's a relief.


On the subject of Daniel, we've been working on visual aids with him lately. It has been going really well and he is picking up on it. I've done then on and off over the years with no real success and just frustration and extra work, but it seems like this time it is cutting back on work and making communication easier. And working on the visual aids now (commonly known as the picture exchange system) will help him in the future if he is physically unable to speak and he needs a communication device. You can read about communication devices and how they help here.

Joshua's homeschooling is coming along well and he is picking up on so many things! I am just so proud of him!!!! :)

Lately we've discovered that Elijah loves puzzles! He will sit for hours putting puzzles together and singing and talking to himself. It's so fun to watch him!




Though he has been a bit of a whiny child lately... for instance he took out daddy's tools and was told very kindly to put them away and it turned into a dramatic experience for him.




There is a season of uncertainty coming up soon with the birth of my little sisters child. Prayer would be appreciated that God would give us wisdom and counsel on how to best do what he wants us to do in such a unique situation.


And the last thing i have for you tonight is for Maria... a picture of Dottie

4 comments:

Jamie said...

I think it's great when little boys play with dolls. I honestly have never heard of a little boy who is interested in playing with them for very long, but I agree with Matt that it helps with being nurturing. It won't make them wimps, just compassionate. At least that's my opinion. Rilla plays with her babies all day long... feeding them, rocking them, putting them down for naps, checking on them, etc. Abraham is rarely interested, but every now and then (like once a month) he will pick up a doll and rock it or something, kinda shyly, and take care of it for five or ten minutes. I like it. There's no way I could train him out of being in love with cars and engines... it is so natural to him, it's ridiculous... but it makes me smile when he feels like rocking a doll for just those few minutes a month.

Emily said...

Loved your post! The first picture made me crack up... :) Boxes of cereal to avoid looking at each other. I am sure it's not as funny to you, but it made me smile.

Silas likes playing with dolls every once in awhile. Eliana has dolls, so they are around for him to play with. I remember buying my nephew a boy doll (it looked like one of the Little People dolls)- and he loved it. It was a little friend for him when he was little. He's 8 now and all boys. :)

I will be praying for testing for your little guy next week. I am guessing having an official diagnosis will be good.

Is your little sister living with you guys? Is she having a boy or girl? I remember he as a little girl- hard to believe she is old enough to have a baby! :)

I parenting book I have enjoyed is "Grace Based Parenting"- good read. My parents bought it for me and all my siblings one Christmas.

It's fun to reconnect with you Kristin! Hope you are doing good!

Kmarie said...

Dolls are ok :) And Jamie is right- they loose interest sooner than you think. My son even fed them bottles and dressed them - I am fine with it. He is 7 now and not interested but every once and awhile he will nurture one of his stuffies. I love it. I do think it just shows daddy tendencies. Even boys dressing up in their sister's playclothes do not bother me. I went to school in Early Childhood Education and it was the kids who were forbidden to do anything like that or switch gender roles from time to time that were messed.
I let me children pretend they are different ages, we have a day every now and then where everyone switches birth order so the baby gets treated like the old responsible one and the older gets a day to feel babied. It is so healthy for them and teaches them a lot. They also feel less inclined to blame roles as an act of parental judgement.
Grace based parenting is pretty good. Also the Guidance of Young Children, Parenting your anxious Child, The Highly Sensitive Child, His needs Her needs for parents, Perfect Madness, and 123 Magic ( Discipline for kids on the autism scale).

Alfie and Maria said...

The picture with the cereal boxes cracks me up. :) *hug for Daniel* I hope everything goes well at the appointment and I'm praying for the right answers to shine through. Stay strong! You can make it through the early morning and the long crazy day by the grace of God! *hug for you*