I have struggled with weight issues on and off. I am getting to the point where i am learning to love and accept the beautiful curves God has given me ( i know my husband sure loves them, so that helps!) ... I wanted to share this great post by a fellow blogger Kmarie. I hope you find encourangment in it as i did. http://acquiringbalance.blogspot.com/2012/04/about-weight-brief-general-history.html

Friday night randoms

-still feeling off, but numbness has subsided - went to the chiropractor today and I feel a little better, but still had dizziness, nausea, and a headache. - headed to the neurologist on Monday... -planning on heading to my naturalpathic doctor next. - Joshua got glasses for reading and school work and he looks very grown up in them! - through teaching a friend's daughter the flute I have gained back a part of my life that I thought was put to rest. I love music and the playing of it, and after we had our children I figured I wouldn't have time to play again so I sold my instruments. My friend found out that I played for many years and asked me to teach, so i started teaching and I feel like a piece of me has come back... I went out and bought a flute so that I could really be a good teacher and get back into music full swing. So thank you friend for allowing me to teach your daughter! You know who you are! I feel honored and blessed to be a part of your life! - I love my husband. Seriously blessed over here! He has been so supportive and helpful during this current down episode.

numb faces and 5 hour doctors visits

last night my right arm went numb. Which sadly enough isn't a new thing for me. But then the right side of my face went numb along with a sudden onset of a headache just on that side.
I spent 5 hours at the doctors office today.
After an ekg, ct scan, blood work, and a chest x ray no answers where found but the fact that my blood work showed a chance of a blood clot was somewhere in my body. Other then that just questions....
So now i am referred to a neurologist and hopefully some answers will appear.
Until then I'm tired, i'm going to rest and hopefully the numbness will subside enough for me to feel "normal" again.

there is a qoute from a show called "touch" that hit home for me on how i feel with my kids.. i must share it with you...

"there is so many things I wanted to teach you.... That's how I always thought it was suppose to be.... That's what being a parent was... Me teaching you. Now it turns out.... it's you teaching me."

Friday randoms

I sit and watch the humming bird gather sweets from the feeder. It's amazing how they hover. I imagine that a humming bird is the closest thing to a fairy that I will ever see in this life. He or she chirps after each taste. I've only seen this one... Every night around diner time.

How can one be surrounded by creation and not believe in a creator?


Over the years, in my Christian walk, Easter always seemed well... depressing. There is so much emphasis on our sins and the weight of that, that it almost inflicts a sense of guilt and worthlessness. This year for me, it feels different. I actually feel hopeful and not just thankful... But joyful! There is a reason it is called GOOD Friday. I read a comic that someone posted and it was of a man sitting alone and sad, another man walks up and asks what's wrong. The man proceeds to tell him about how he hates the term good Friday because his lord was hung on a tree that day... The one who asked what was wrong said "If you were going to be hanged on that day and he volunteered to take your place how would you feel? The sad man said "good" and the other said "have a nice day" and walked away.
I am in no way trying to minimize what a great thing the lord did to redeem us, but what I am trying to do is to tell you what incredible grace and love that is... Not condemnation... Not YOU BIG WORTHLESS SINNER.... It was an act of "I MADE YOU and LOVE YOU and WANT you and you are WORTH my love and attention." Yes, WORTH it. He didn't die on the cross sighing and saying to us " see what i am doing you worthless creatures... Why do i even try with you." No he died on the cross saying " forgive them". He died because he found worth in us that he wanted to redeem. Once you start feeling that way, I believe that you will be able to move in the spirit in a much fuller way. It is so damaging to constantly think of how unworthy you are.... You can still be humble and gentle and full of love and not be beat down by your unworthiness. I hope you believe that you have worth, that God saw in you, a heart that just bursting with the image of the creator.

Our house has been plagued with colds for the past three weeks. It is the great downside of Daniel attending special needs classes at the local public school. The speech therapist was over here the other night and she is going on week 4 of the cold. I'm hoping the warming weather will help kick the colds.

Speaking of speech therapists... I love our speech therapist and I am going to be so sad when we are out of the current program Daniel is in... I am trying to convince her to do private home therapy with us. Though she thinks that I may still be able to have Daniel continue to go to the special needs preschool even though he won't be preschool age.

I'm really really really fighting the urge that have a big juicy cheese burger. I've been trying to stay relatively healthy... But it's one of those "I was up at 5am because the baby was here and I got no sleep last night and my kids are mo hyper then usual "days.

May (the girl duck) is dutifully laying on her 17 eggs... No joke people... We may have 17 little duckies waddling around after their momma here in about 25 days..... And I'm so excited... I still haven't figured out what we are going to do with the babies once they have grown. Eat them? I'm not a big fan of duck... I guess we will see when the time comes.

Other farm news? Well my first official special needs petting farm day is in may! :) daniel's class is going to come up to see the animals and the new baby ducks when they hatch and have a craft and a snack. I'm so excited and they are going to bring their families!
The llamas are coming along in training nicely. The baby has fully recovered from her almost demise and our big brown girl Gwen let us put the pack on her, so that was exciting. Tough Gwen is getting quit round.... I'm wondering if we might not end up with a baby llama here... Or she may just be getting chunky... I'm personally hoping for a baby llama! It is a great possibility as she was with other male llamas before she came to us.

That's it for my random update people. Be loved, feel your worth, and may you find beauty and life in creation this spring.

As I concluded this post I just saw another humming bird come around and then get chased off by the one that frequents the feeder. I've heard hummingbirds are territorial.

tonight's shocker....

Daniel's special ed. teachers asked us a few days ago if Daniel could read. I thought that was a funny question because how would i be able to tell or teach a child who couldn't respond back voacally if he is grasping the concept of reading or not. They suggested that we give him some words and see if he recognizes them. So tonight i did... and you know what...

HE GOT EVERY SINGLE WORD RIGHT...

that's right my friends...

my 5 year old, apraxic son, who has a very limited come and go vocabulary can READ!

I'm brimming with joy here tonight.... and so is he... :D

I made a video so you could see him do it.