My Mother

Let me just tell you that she is such a strong woman in the Lord. Her faith is strong and steady and I would not be the woman I am today without her example of determination, faith, and grace. She is my inspiration and I hope to one day be at least half the mom to my kids that she is to me. I know that she feels like she put us through a lot when we were little, but in all honesty, i wouldn't have changed a thing in who she is. Life hasn't been easy for her, but she is so strong and so gentle and loving and faithful.
I love her so much and I know that this time is not easy for her and my heart breaks for the loss of her best friend. I'm just so in awe of her steadfast trust in the Lord and how she is pressing into Him during this time.
I love you Mom.

Their eyes lit up when i took it out to fly. I remember having that same feeling.




I remember going to the park getting excited to see the colors soaring high above me.




It always hung in the garage waiting for a special free day, full of wind. And now it sits in my closet waiting for the same thing. I remember Marty bringing me to the park to fly it, just me and him. I use to think it was so big, and really the coolest kite ever. Today as it was soaring above us I was sad that my boys will never get to fly this kite with their grandpa Marty, or shoot off rockets or do any of the fun memorable things that he always did with me...




But at least i have the memory, and i can savor these moments with my children, making memories and knowing some day they are going to look back on these memories hopefully with the same fondness that i look back on mine with.

Sunday randoms

we will have a warm winter...


It's all about the frosting...


not to fancy this year, but still cute...


I saw this picture in the thrift store and it made me think of the Dawn Treader, so i couldn't resist and now it has a home in the boys bathroom. I must admit that every time i see it i expect water to come spilling out and to be transported into the world of Narnia. If you have never read " The Voyage of the Dawn Treader", you should...

Happy Birthday!

I put together a little video movie for Daniel's birthday. The pictures aren't really in order, but it's still fun to watch, well at least for me. I am so blessed by this little guy, and though i still haven't heard him say "I love you" in all the 5 years i've known him, i can feel it in every hug and see it in his eyes.

Life today

I love the changing of seasons. Autumn is by far, in my opinion, the best season of the year. This year it is mixed with a unique sadness and joy. Life really has changed with the seasons this year. With the loss of Marty it's started out rough... but there is hope everywhere. There is so much going on, yet life is slowly moving along. Here is a few of the things going on right now.

- we had a chicken die from infection. Her leg was stepped on by the cow, we did everything we could to keep her wound cleaned and keep her comfrotable, but she still passed away. That was a dissapointment, but life on a farm isn't all roses and long life.

-I'm really enjoying homeschooling this fall. Right now with Joshua i am focusing on what month and day it is so he can grasp the concept of seasons and time. He is catchign on fairly well. And then we are of course working on penmanship (he is gettign very good at writing and he is getting better at reading words as well.. though i only do as much as he is interested in because he is only 6 and i'm one of those people who like starting more formal schooling later in life) we are studying a continent a week and talking about what kind of animals live in that specific continent. And of course we work on numbers and counting. BUt over all my main focus with him is developing CHARECTER... as it will be and is with all of our boys.

- I realized that I haven't shared with you all about my little sister and the whole situation there. I'll have to write a post about that... because right now, she is a big part of our life.

- Daniel is LOVING his therapy school. He actually cries when it's time to come home because he loves being around other kids so much and he loves the structure. It makes me happy to know how much he loves it, but it also makes me a bit sad because after he id done with this specific school program, there really is no good therapy speech schools in our area that i feel comfortable with. But we'll take it a year at a time...

And that just about sums up things here right now... May you enjoy this new season and may it bring joy and blessing and a bountiful harvest of HOPE!

verses

This is one of the last verses that i read to marty before he went to be with Jesus. And I can't help but think that the mountains and hills were bursting into song, and all the trees of the field were claping their hands as he was brought into the presence of the Lord. Marty loved thunderstorms and shortly after he passed away thunder was rolling, and i just knew that the Lord was delighting in his son coming home.

Isaiah 55:8-13

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD’s renown,
for an everlasting sign,
that will endure forever.”

He didn't have to be

Thank you Kmarie suggesting the country song by brad paisley. I was going to share that is a song that is very near to how things are for me before you even suggested it. So here you are... At the end of the lyrics i'll post the youtube video so you can listen/watch it.

"He Didn't Have To Be"

When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new
It always winds up feeling more like a job interview
My momma used to wonder if she'd ever meet someone
Who wouldn't find out about me and then turn around and run

I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old
He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go
A few months later I remember lying there in bed
I overheard him pop the question and prayed that she'd say yes

And then all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we went from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be

I met the girl that's now my wife about three years ago
We had the perfect marriage but we wanted somethin' more
Now here I stand surrounded by our family and friends
Crowded 'round the nursery window as they bring the baby in

And now all of a sudden
It seemed so strange to me
How we've gone from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' through the glass I think about the man
That's standin' next to me
And I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be

Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be

Yeah, I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
Because he didn't have to be
You know he didn't have to be






Stay tuned.. because i want to share with you my amazing mother! Seriously, she is my inspiration and my hero.

We called him Marty

Some of you know a bit about my background and some of you know nothing. In a nutshell, my parents where non-christians, got divorced when i was 2 and my mom was left alone to raise three children. There is a long story about grace and redemption and the awesome power of God in all of this, BUT for now you get the basic backdrop. Now that you know the basics I can move on...

We called him Marty. God put him into our lives at a time where our family was falling apart. He stepped up, chose to follow the Lord and to be a leader to my mom and point her to Jesus. The Lord used him to save my mom from a very hopeless place, and in turn saved our family. After a few years of friendship and then dating they got married when i was 7 years old. I can't remember a time without him. He always was there, constant and loving. A steady rock on shaky ground. My birth dad wasn't around much and was very much a stranger to me, but Marty, he was the man. He wasn't my dad... he was MARTY. In my young heart, Marty meant DAD. The name Marty to me evokes more feels of love and stability then words that are generally associated with a father. Over the years i tried my hardest to call him Dad, or daddy, or papa... but it always felt wrong. Like i was betraying the very core of who he was and that i was implying that he was something less to me. I've told him that many times.. and i know that he understands that I am and always will be his daughter and little girl. I have so many great memories.. maybe not so great for him (like throwing up all over his back while we were taking a walk one day and then screaming "SOMEBODY HELP ME" while he was carying me back to the car)... but to me that's a great memory of love and care and comfort. I owe so much of my choice in a husband to Marty. He showed me the way that a husband should treat a wife. He loved my mother so much... he treated her with so much love and respect. They made such a great team and I would not be the woman i am today without the great parents they made. I love what my older sister said in her speech that she wrote for his funeral and i want to share it with you...

I can’t tell you when the first time I met Marty was, but what I can do is tell you what he was like through my eyes as a dad.

See I was about 11 years old the first time I realized “This guy just is NOT going away!” Mom kept inviting him over, inviting him on outings, even asking him to come over to help me with my math homework. She said “he’s good at math, he knows better than me.” I was like “whatever mom”. All the usual attitude and awfulness that I tried was not working on him. He kept coming back!

As time went on I noticed he wasn’t just being nice because he liked my mom…he actually like us. He cared! And he was kind of Fun too…I mean what is cooler to an 11 year old than a pilot with his own airplane!

I loved going up in that little Cessna! Sometimes I even got to fly it for a little bit. We would fly up to Voyager Village in Wisconsin, just outside of Siren, for the fly-in brunch; always taking enough fuel for the “Scenic Route”.

Marty loved the “Scenic Route” whether it was the coffee shop for a “jolt” (he loved his espresso) or our vacation at Yosemite or The Big Island, often wanting to explore the path less traveled.

He was different for sure. Some of you may remember that Black Mercury that he drove. It had a rocket switch glued to the dash that was labeled with something like “blast of” or “turbo” not sure of the exact wording. But I hope that wasn’t his idea of a chick magnet. Although it’s possible that’s why he stayed single for so long before my mom had the chance to snag him.

Marty snatched up every opportunity to teach us something he was passionate about as well as things we needed to know. He stressed the importance of “doing it right”. I’m not going to say I soaked it all up, to tell you the truth, he liked to give these elaborate instructions and in-depth examples that would just go on FOREVER! I suppose that was a good thing in his line of work.

As I look back now Marty handled marrying a lady with 3 kids with a ton of grace! Yeah, there were plenty of growing pains, but an infinite amount of love. Often wrapping his arms around me with a big hug, knowing just when I needed one. He made a point to tell me how nice I looked or that he was proud of me.

Other fond memories I will share is with the family at the Kuhn’s cabin in Wisconsin near Turtle Lake. The beach was pretty gross, so Marty would take us out to the middle of the lake on the Pontoon, without a motor only a couple oars, and spend hours out there so we could swim weed and muck free. He also taught us to fish up there, no not how to catch the sunny’s in a net fishing from the dock (he always made us throw those back I promise), but real fishing with a rod and lure. Only thing is he also taught us how to clean them. I’m pretty sure that has something to do with the fact that my diet consists of very little fish.

I can’t speak for all of us kids, but I can say I wasn’t an easy teenager, although we all had our bedroom doors removed at some point or another. Funny I tried that with my own teenager but the mess trickled from her room, to the hall way, encroached on the living room and soon she had her door back…guess it doesn’t work for all teenagers. I’m learning as I go, just as he and mom had to. He did reassure me recently that I was just “boot camp”. That was comforting.

He taught me how to love and protect my kids…let me be clear, I am not giving him all the credit here because I have learned a lot from my mom too, but truly together, they made a Great Team!

As a dad he was Top Rate, One-Of-A-Kind and will live in my heart forever.



I want to share this verse with you today because Marty's last words were "I am free, lift up your hands and praise god":

Psalm 118:5

‘In my anguish I cried to the Lord

and he answered by setting me free’

I'm sure in these coming days, and weeks i will share more with you... because having such a great man be a dad to me when he didn't have to be, but he CHOSE to be for the past 20+ years and then being there with him and watching him go home into the arms of Jesus has made a substantial impact on the core of my being... There is just so much to share. For now.. Thank you friends for the prayers and the thoughts.

This morning at 5am, my stepdad took his last breath on earth and his healing became complete in Christ. Now he is pain free with Jesus. God's timeing is so perfect and I was able to be with him as he passed.. it's been a long weekend i have a lot on my heart that want to share. I just wanted to say thank you for all of you who have prayed for our family.